How to STOP your child from wanting to read with you….

By dadsplay at November 24, 2010 | 3:58 pm | Print

How to STOP your child from wanting to read with you….

This is not what I set out to do, but it’s what I effectively accomplished with my first
born daughter. I’m a hands-on dad who loves teaching my daughters and assisting with
their homework (which includes reading with them). When my oldest was first learning
to read, I would sit and read with her. I would let her read some ‘sight’ words (simple
words that they learn to recognize, such as “the” or “I”) while I read the rest of the story.
This actually worked out well, as I would praise her constantly for remembering various
words. Each reading, I would try to introduce or re-introduce sight words and continue
to praise her as we read. Everything was going great, until….I tried to teach her HOW to
read….sounding out words/letters.

Well, to be clear, it wasn’t that I’d chosen to teach her to sound out words/letters, it
was the way I would correct her
. When we were working with sight words, I’d simply
remind her of words, if she couldn’t remember the word, and praise her when she got it right. When
she would attempt to sound out a word, I would quickly (or sharply sometimes) correct
her and, I’m fairly certain, I probably said “no, it’s this….”. It’s the “No” or negative
feedback that I did for a long time that shut her down and pushed her to not want to read
with me. While I would still praise her when she’d get it right, the ‘no’ was coming way
too often. Eventually, she would cry or put her head down if I asked her to sound out a
word and she couldn’t get it right.

I’m not sure when I realized what I was doing, but once I did, I completely changed my
approach
. I still correct her, but I make it a point to give her positive feedback first, then
say something like “try changing the sound of this vowel” or “make the ‘c’ have this
sound”. We now have lots of fun reading and she isn’t afraid to read with me anymore,
but it took a lot of self awareness and control, on my part, to ensure I wasn’t beating her
down, but rather praising her up. Reading SHOULD be fun, focus on that always and the
rest will work itself out.

By R.S. Pierce

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